9.45pm, I heaved a sigh, They were not going off yet. After cell most of my cell members were waiting for their parents at the pick up point. I had to walk out to the neighbouring carpark. I looked around. No one to walk out with. I couldn't wait anymore, didn't want to anger my mum again, after what happened the last time. As I started walking, something told me to walk slower, for some reason. I slowed. Additionally I took the long way, weaving through the illegally (or so I thought) parked cars on the little lane. Because I walked so slowly I braced myself for a practical joke from behind, I hoped for it, someone to walk out with. But none came. It really is a pain to walk out alone and no one to talk with. I looked up into the night sky, only a star in sight. It was not very bright. I told God in my head, "God, if it's your will, take everything away from me. If it's your will, take her away from me. Take my relationships away from me, take everything that is ungodly away from me."
Wait, hold it a second!
Did I just say that?!
I thwacked myself on the head. What have I just said??! Tatarsauce, I could never do well with all that stuff mentioned earlier. Never. Something's gotten into me.
But, thinking back, I realised that there's lots of stuff in my life that's not doing well. It has been so hard to come to this point. Like everything's so uncertain, it's so hard to let go of anything, let alone everything. It's so hard to trust God with lots of stuff that I hold dear in my life. Like what Dr Corne Bekker had said, if he was a person in the Bible, the Bible will be much longer than it is today. Same goes for me, if God were to tell me to go somewhere for Him, I will not unless I know what I'm going to do, or what's going to happen. But things don't work that way. God doesn't want just 90%, or even 99%, He wants 100%.
Sometimes I wonder how to live my life, of course, I screw up every now and then, and it's making things really hard for me. One day I picked up a St Hilda's Primary newsletter lying around. After reading through and seeing what accomplishments they have, something caught my eye. It wasn't exactly the most attention-seeking thing, it was rather in super small font. It said,
Love Sincerely. Serve Humbly. Learn Continuously. Lead Wisely. Live Responsibly.
I guess it's taken too long for me to realise what these values meant. It's been 2 years (coming 3) since I've left primary school, and it's only now that I feel the full meaning behind it. Its values. Values of Christ. Yes, before I continue I have to confess, that even though I've been seeing this for 3 years on end in primary school I still struggle with some of these things a lot, honestly.
Love Sincerely.
I guess as followers of Christ we all should love our neighbours sincerely. Jesus said, "Do not murder, do not commit adultery, do not steal, do not give false testimony, honor your father and mother, and love your neighbor as yourself." (Matthew 19:19) I'm certain that this is what God wants us to do, as the most basic thing, is to love our neighbours as ourselves. Earlier he said, "But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you." Our love should resemble that of Christ. We are the salt of the earth and a city on a hill. Salt gives taste while a city on a hill gives light. We are sent into the world, to find the lost through the power of God. If we cannot love sincerely we are losing our saltiness and dimming our lights, to put it bluntly.
Serve Humbly.
"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. .... The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth" (John 1:1, 14) I find this rather astonishing, but like it or not Jesus set this example for us, and we are to follow. No doubt Jesus is the king, but he did not come to be served, but to serve. One well-known example is that he washed his disciples' feet. In those days the roads were not like those today, covered in concrete. Then, the roads were dusty, like those dirt roads. Whenever someone comes the first thing for the host of the house to do is to send someone to wash the visitors' feet. It was a dirty job, no doubt. Jesus washed his disciples' feet, and after that he told the others to do the same. This meant that we are supposed to serve other people, and not to be served.
Learn Continuously.
Sometimes when I study I have really really negative attitudes towards subjects that I resent. I slack of on these subjects, even though the exams are in like 4 days I'm still like that. But I guess it's a conviction of this extremely negative attitude of mine.
Lead Wisely
I guess leadership is not really at all a bed of roses, rather a bed of roses... with thorns. Being the leader for 10 weeks had taken its toll on my not-so-strong will. Today I still find that I have a calling to lead, but I have the calling too to step up on my ministry. I have this plan, to form a gospel band in vjc next year, and I commit all this into the Lord's hands. A leader is supposed to guide his followers onto the path of righteousness. I will do what it takes.
Live responsibly
"Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body." (1 Corinthians 19-20 ) I guess one thing we have to do with ourselves, our physical selves is not to abuse it but to take care of it, because the Holy Spirit resides in it. We are commanded to take care of ourselves.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Transition
It hasn't really occurred to me that with my choices on the path of education to take how much time I have left with what I have currently. Yes, that means that I don't really have much time left with friends that choose to remain behind. Term 4 is just about 7 hours away and yea, time is really running out. I guess that having you guys as classmates for 2 years is really a great joy, but time flies, and to tell the truth, I'm not really dreading Term 4, not because of the SA2s, but because that I can serve you guys again, before our transition to Sec 3 and our respective streams.
I haven't really realised how to do things as I go around with my daily life, but yesterday really gave me a break. Serve with humility. Have a heart of servanthood. Set the example. I guess this is going to be the last time I will be able to serve you before we transit. I will make the most of it. Maybe I have offended you one way or another during the course of this year and last year, now is the time that I confess and apologise, if I've done anything bad to you or offended you inone way or another, whether I know it or don't know it, I'm sorry.
I guess it's time for me to take the next step of faith. Although there are many things that are very uncertain in my life, I know one thing, that God's light still shines when all else fades, and even as I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil, for You are with me. Your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
Humility. Servanthood. Example.
I haven't really realised how to do things as I go around with my daily life, but yesterday really gave me a break. Serve with humility. Have a heart of servanthood. Set the example. I guess this is going to be the last time I will be able to serve you before we transit. I will make the most of it. Maybe I have offended you one way or another during the course of this year and last year, now is the time that I confess and apologise, if I've done anything bad to you or offended you inone way or another, whether I know it or don't know it, I'm sorry.
I guess it's time for me to take the next step of faith. Although there are many things that are very uncertain in my life, I know one thing, that God's light still shines when all else fades, and even as I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil, for You are with me. Your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
Humility. Servanthood. Example.
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Reflections
Though my eyes may fail me
I will follow after You
Though You promise seems forsaken
Ill remember the worlds in Your hands
Youll find me singing
You are unfailing God
Your loves unending
And Your word is eternal
Firm in the heavens its stands
Though sorrows my condition
And pain holds back no blow
Though this be my darkest hour
Your lamp is leading me home
Youll find me singing
You are unfailing God
Your loves unending
And Your word is eternal
Firm in the heavens its stands
Eyes cant see but I feel You near
I know Youre working through my tears
I trust You Lord I trust You for You never walk away
You are unfailing God
Your loves unending
And Your word is eternal
Firm in the heavens its stands
Unfailing God
Unfailing God
Your Love is unending
You are unfailing God
Your love's unending
And Your word is eternal
Firm in the heavens it stands
It's the end of the school holidays, and come to think of it, I haven't really been a very good time manager. The breakthrough that I have been hoping for ever since 2 posts ago never came. I also haven't been doing a lot of QT these days, and after doing it this morning I felt super refreshed. It is a great feeling to know that the new term's going to start on a high for me.
However this holiays were not as smoothful as you may think. Imagine a warehouse, where all the things are kept. That warehouse represents my life at that time. Now this warehouse is not an ordinary warehouse, the goods on all the shelves are placed in the wrong sections. For example a box coded Z is put under A and not Z. In other words my life was pretty messed up, with all the things going in the wrong places. I was really upset and angry with God and I lost it. I lost the faith. I lost the hunger for more. But soon after that some things cleared up, and things became a little better. It was not until yesterday's service that God touched me the most, with this song. God is unfailing, His love is unending and it is firm. It cannot be changed by anyone or anything. If you were to watch the video on the right it tells a really touching history of the song 'Overcome' by New Life Church. It complements the fact that God is really unfailing, and His Love is eternal.
Reflecting on this June Holidays it has been a good break from school and the Bali trip was really one of the most awesome ever. Something I would like to mention is Mariokart, the most (K)ompetitive game ever, with 7 to 8 [human] players (Really, everyone got hit by the same blue shell). Yea, there are cases that people get fed up with their performance and DC (disconnect). I will emphasize on two points here. Firstly, winning isn't everything. Yea, you may think it is easy for me to say that since I usually perform well. But remember, like everyone else, no one is perfect. I also have my bad performances too. If you're from 2A and went to Bali and was among the people playing Mariokart you would remember on the fourth day before lunch we played Rainbow Road. That was my extremely poor performance. I blew my engine at the start and fell off the track (at least) 3 times. Even if I came in one of the last it was still enjoyable. I could never forget the experience. But as I say winning isn't everything. Like some people's philosophy is that you compete to win (No mentioning names). I tell you that this is not the case. Why did people invent games in the first place? To win? Obvoiusly not! In a similiar situation, what makes you feel happier, having good grades but you know you cheated during that exam, or getting not-so-good grades and reside in the fact that your integrity is intact and that you have tried your best? Unless you don't have a conscience I hope the answer is the latter. Similiarly it's not always about winning.
Even as I am saying this now there is something heavy that I have to say. Many times I can also fall victim to this 'winning-is-everything' philosophy and sometimes play ugly to get the top few (like 'bonk'ing people off the track). I know bonk-ing is not really illegal or anything, but when I came back home and reflected on what I did on many occasions, believe it or not that was under my classification of "playing ugly". I apologize for that. Sometimes I really get fed up with the must-win attitude people, which is different from people that are hungry to win. In other words the hungry-to-win people are not actually hungry to win, they use winning as a form of motivation to spur them to play well. There is a difference. Sometimes the must-win people can also turn out to be me, unknowingly. Playing ugly is a symptom. I feel that unless I correct myself of this mistake, I am in no position to stand here and fulfill God's calling for me to be a leader.
I would also want to make a public statement of my faith. Yes, that means I'm getitng baptized. This is a public invitation to all of my friends to come and be a witness to my proclamaiton. The service will be on 11 July, 2.30pm at Riverlife Church, 6 Loyang Besar Close. It is a Sunday. I reallt hope that you are able to come and that I can share this joyous occasion with you.
God bless.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori
My name is Winston Smith. I am a British soldier embroiled in the tumult of World War 2. It is a funny feeling to know that, if you go to war, chances are that you would never make it back. The saying goes: Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori - It is sweet and right to die for your country. But things I have seen in the course of the war so far has changed my perspective: intimidating cannons, intense gunfire and poisonous gas. I doubt if I would survive today.
These morbid thoughts rush through my mind. I shake them off. No time for self-pity. No time for regret. I'm in a helicopter, ready to parachute right into the raging battle below. I can hear the thundering booms of heavy artillery. Tightening my shoulder straps, a comforting hand rests on my shoulder. It's my lifelong friend, James Williams. We are as close as brothers, going through thick and thin. He gives me a reassuring, if weary, smile. Neither of us is looking forward to this. I return his smile and embrace him, then walk towards the gaping opening at the side of the helicopter. Our captain, a hard, uncompassionate man by the name of Evan Johnson glares at me and gestures at us to get moving. That man is in charge of a squad of a dozen crack troops and is well suited for the task. He never seemed to care for his troops a single bit, waking us up at 5 in the morning just to do a million push-ups. I detested him. He stood by the side, as rigid and dispassionate as a statue, as I jump out of the helicopter.
As i plummet downwards, I feel adrenaline rush through me. The wind stings my eyes as I plunge into the fiery hell that lay below. I pull at my parachute strap and my parachute opens. As I approach the ground, I hear the sounds of live artillery, men screaming, explosives defonating. I focus on my mission, pushing all thoughts aside. Here, only the strongest survive.
As soon as i touch the ground, I severe my parachute straps and dive for the nearest trenches. The trenches were full of mud and corpses, and I feel like regurgitating my breakfast. I huddle down with my rifle. Around me, bullets whizz past and grenades explode. Shrieks of the wounded and dying fill the air. I glance around at the soldiers around me and look at their weary, frightened countenances. This is not what the recruiting officers had told us. There is no such thing as glory in war.
"Winston!" Somebody suddenly tumbles into the trench. It is James.
"This place is a mess," James yelled over the clatter of machine guns. I nod, unable to speak. My throat is parched. There is a ear-splitting explosion, followed by a scream. I turn to look. I wish I hadn't. A soldier has been blown to bits by a grenade. I turn away, bile rising in my throat.
I raise my head to look over to enemy territory. Barbed wire everywhere in the no-man's land. Shells whistle and hit the ground, causing clouds of dust to appear. I am certain that there are mines there too. I grit my teeth and swallowed in trepidation.
"Winston!" James hollers. I trudge over, boots sloshing in the quagmire. "We attack the enemy position in three minutes!"
"That's crazy! They've got machine guns and artillery! Who's the idiot that commanded this?!" I exclaim in disbelief.
"I don't know! We'll be slaughtered!" James sighs wearily.
I look at him and he at me. We embrace again.
"Remember our oath: look out for each other, and we might just survive." James mutter
"After all, if we die we die for our country." James smiles faintly. Ah yes, dulce et decorum est pro patria mori.
That will be the longest three minutes of my life. These just could be my last. A whistle blows. War cries holler, shots being fired. Rifles being raised. Prayers being made. Teeth clenched, knees shaking, I pull myself out of the trench and advance towards death.
The route is horrible and bloody. Soldiers being torn apart by bullets and blown to bits by mortars. I raise my rifle and fire several shots, rewarded by the sight of an enemy falling. No remorse, no guilt. Only weariness, anger and pain. I advance past bodies, past mines, past grenades, with James by my side.
A black object flies past. A grenade. James doesn't see it. It would be too late if he does. I make a heroic decision in that split second. I dive and push him out of the way. A searing pain shoots through my legs as the grenade detonates. I lie on the ground, badly wounded. James is fine. He stands up, locking eyes with mine. He will make good his side of his promise, wouldn't he? He looked at me. He turned and ran on.
Disbelief courses through me. That must have been a hallucination! He will not abandon me. I stare numbly at two charred stumps: what was supposed to be my legs. But it is true. He abandoned me to die. I watch him run, I watch him get shot. His body jerks and spasm. I watched him fall to his knees, as though in prayer. I watch him die. Hot tears blur my vision. Impossible. Him. Dead. I start to weep for a person who I thought was my friend. I want to die.
Someone scoops me up. Captain Evan Johnson. I'm just totally puzzled. Covered in blood, he limps with me in his arms back to the trenches. Nearly there. Ten metres. Five. Three. He suddenly jerks and his body goes rigid. He collapses, and starts to cough out blood. The bullet lodged in his chest. He looks at me wearily, the coldness in this stare gone. He wheezes.
"Why... Why did you save me?" I blubber.
"An officer... always looks out... for his men... lad... You... have your life ahead of you... Use... use it wisely... it is a gift... From me to you... Remember... the fallen..."
With that he shoves me into the trench. I will never forget his words. His unfocused, calm eyes as his head hits the ground, unconscious. Evan Johnson, had died.
I started weeping. I started weeping for James. I started weeping for Captain Johnson. I started weeping for all the soldiers, giving their lives for a senseless dispute. A medic comes up to me. I will live, but the memories of the horrible war that will eventually claim millions of lives will leave me emotionally dead. Dead on the battlefield.
It was a lie: Dulce et decorum est, pro patria mori. Where was the sweetness in killing?
I would live, but I had died.
These morbid thoughts rush through my mind. I shake them off. No time for self-pity. No time for regret. I'm in a helicopter, ready to parachute right into the raging battle below. I can hear the thundering booms of heavy artillery. Tightening my shoulder straps, a comforting hand rests on my shoulder. It's my lifelong friend, James Williams. We are as close as brothers, going through thick and thin. He gives me a reassuring, if weary, smile. Neither of us is looking forward to this. I return his smile and embrace him, then walk towards the gaping opening at the side of the helicopter. Our captain, a hard, uncompassionate man by the name of Evan Johnson glares at me and gestures at us to get moving. That man is in charge of a squad of a dozen crack troops and is well suited for the task. He never seemed to care for his troops a single bit, waking us up at 5 in the morning just to do a million push-ups. I detested him. He stood by the side, as rigid and dispassionate as a statue, as I jump out of the helicopter.
As i plummet downwards, I feel adrenaline rush through me. The wind stings my eyes as I plunge into the fiery hell that lay below. I pull at my parachute strap and my parachute opens. As I approach the ground, I hear the sounds of live artillery, men screaming, explosives defonating. I focus on my mission, pushing all thoughts aside. Here, only the strongest survive.
As soon as i touch the ground, I severe my parachute straps and dive for the nearest trenches. The trenches were full of mud and corpses, and I feel like regurgitating my breakfast. I huddle down with my rifle. Around me, bullets whizz past and grenades explode. Shrieks of the wounded and dying fill the air. I glance around at the soldiers around me and look at their weary, frightened countenances. This is not what the recruiting officers had told us. There is no such thing as glory in war.
"Winston!" Somebody suddenly tumbles into the trench. It is James.
"This place is a mess," James yelled over the clatter of machine guns. I nod, unable to speak. My throat is parched. There is a ear-splitting explosion, followed by a scream. I turn to look. I wish I hadn't. A soldier has been blown to bits by a grenade. I turn away, bile rising in my throat.
I raise my head to look over to enemy territory. Barbed wire everywhere in the no-man's land. Shells whistle and hit the ground, causing clouds of dust to appear. I am certain that there are mines there too. I grit my teeth and swallowed in trepidation.
"Winston!" James hollers. I trudge over, boots sloshing in the quagmire. "We attack the enemy position in three minutes!"
"That's crazy! They've got machine guns and artillery! Who's the idiot that commanded this?!" I exclaim in disbelief.
"I don't know! We'll be slaughtered!" James sighs wearily.
I look at him and he at me. We embrace again.
"Remember our oath: look out for each other, and we might just survive." James mutter
"After all, if we die we die for our country." James smiles faintly. Ah yes, dulce et decorum est pro patria mori.
That will be the longest three minutes of my life. These just could be my last. A whistle blows. War cries holler, shots being fired. Rifles being raised. Prayers being made. Teeth clenched, knees shaking, I pull myself out of the trench and advance towards death.
The route is horrible and bloody. Soldiers being torn apart by bullets and blown to bits by mortars. I raise my rifle and fire several shots, rewarded by the sight of an enemy falling. No remorse, no guilt. Only weariness, anger and pain. I advance past bodies, past mines, past grenades, with James by my side.
A black object flies past. A grenade. James doesn't see it. It would be too late if he does. I make a heroic decision in that split second. I dive and push him out of the way. A searing pain shoots through my legs as the grenade detonates. I lie on the ground, badly wounded. James is fine. He stands up, locking eyes with mine. He will make good his side of his promise, wouldn't he? He looked at me. He turned and ran on.
Disbelief courses through me. That must have been a hallucination! He will not abandon me. I stare numbly at two charred stumps: what was supposed to be my legs. But it is true. He abandoned me to die. I watch him run, I watch him get shot. His body jerks and spasm. I watched him fall to his knees, as though in prayer. I watch him die. Hot tears blur my vision. Impossible. Him. Dead. I start to weep for a person who I thought was my friend. I want to die.
Someone scoops me up. Captain Evan Johnson. I'm just totally puzzled. Covered in blood, he limps with me in his arms back to the trenches. Nearly there. Ten metres. Five. Three. He suddenly jerks and his body goes rigid. He collapses, and starts to cough out blood. The bullet lodged in his chest. He looks at me wearily, the coldness in this stare gone. He wheezes.
"Why... Why did you save me?" I blubber.
"An officer... always looks out... for his men... lad... You... have your life ahead of you... Use... use it wisely... it is a gift... From me to you... Remember... the fallen..."
With that he shoves me into the trench. I will never forget his words. His unfocused, calm eyes as his head hits the ground, unconscious. Evan Johnson, had died.
I started weeping. I started weeping for James. I started weeping for Captain Johnson. I started weeping for all the soldiers, giving their lives for a senseless dispute. A medic comes up to me. I will live, but the memories of the horrible war that will eventually claim millions of lives will leave me emotionally dead. Dead on the battlefield.
It was a lie: Dulce et decorum est, pro patria mori. Where was the sweetness in killing?
I would live, but I had died.
-Joel Lee
Kudos to Joel for writing this essay (Yes that was the highest in class). After learning more about this type of thing, I fully realise the bad stuff about wars. Before this I always thought war was sorta like something like for fun, like a game of Halo or some sort. However history has proven time and again that revenge does not solve all problems, it just makes them worse, and sadly, thickens out history books.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Breakthrough
Personally I never felt that this was going to happen after all the stuff that's been happening to me, like the mindsets of people are rapidly changing, lots of stuff going on, I guess this can be considered a breakthrough for me in this area.
When I brought a friend to church last year (No mentioning names :) ) I didnt expect all of this stuff to happen, like he went for camp, got hyped and well, that was that. I soon became extremely saddened to see such a huge fire get extinguished all of a sudden. The desperation, the fire to please God, was gone. Just died.
Months passed, and his condition deteriorated week after week after week. I couldn't bear with it anymore, it was just so heartbreaking to see such a fine young person with the passion lose his fire after such a short time. I wanted to give up. Thing started happening, and I was already going to make up my mind.
Then my breakthrough came. He dropped me a message saying how bad he felt over what he had been doing over the past months and that his parents allowed him to come back to church again. I was happy, no, more than happy to hear that! My breakthrough had finally come just 3 days ago.
When I brought a friend to church last year (No mentioning names :) ) I didnt expect all of this stuff to happen, like he went for camp, got hyped and well, that was that. I soon became extremely saddened to see such a huge fire get extinguished all of a sudden. The desperation, the fire to please God, was gone. Just died.
Months passed, and his condition deteriorated week after week after week. I couldn't bear with it anymore, it was just so heartbreaking to see such a fine young person with the passion lose his fire after such a short time. I wanted to give up. Thing started happening, and I was already going to make up my mind.
Then my breakthrough came. He dropped me a message saying how bad he felt over what he had been doing over the past months and that his parents allowed him to come back to church again. I was happy, no, more than happy to hear that! My breakthrough had finally come just 3 days ago.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Bad Day...
Sigh, i think today i had a really bad day, looking back at what's happened i wonder what will follow. Due to many intriguing issues/disappointments this has been one of my worse days of the year. Even though today was supposed to be an EXCELLENT and AWESOME day it proved otherwise. Just ask Jon, Nat and Nicole. Hahaha :) please keep me in prayer as i try and sort out the funny stuff that's happening now ;) thanks :)
Once again I want to give a really big THANK YOU for all the support you've been giving through the duration of this blog. :DD
Regards
Caleby
Once again I want to give a really big THANK YOU for all the support you've been giving through the duration of this blog. :DD
Regards
Caleby
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Sigh, it's been almost a month I've posted...
Well since i'm here might as well post something that came to my mind quite recently that someone said. It really cleared up some of my frustrations to why people just can't say "yes" to coming to church. Here's what he said:
"I'm not sure how well this would turn out, like if your friends invited you to their mosque or temple etc etc you wouldn't go right?"
I felt that it really cleared up a lot of my frustrations to why people just don't want to come to church. Technical reasons aside, all we need to have is faith...
Well since i'm here might as well post something that came to my mind quite recently that someone said. It really cleared up some of my frustrations to why people just can't say "yes" to coming to church. Here's what he said:
"I'm not sure how well this would turn out, like if your friends invited you to their mosque or temple etc etc you wouldn't go right?"
I felt that it really cleared up a lot of my frustrations to why people just don't want to come to church. Technical reasons aside, all we need to have is faith...
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Current thoughts
Hello everyone for the third time today :) After quite a long time i visited my blog to see how the tags and everything is coming along. Usually there will be a tag per month but this time has been exceptionally high on the number of tags. To me spreading God's word is not alone a type of ministry, but a duty to Him. Revival is here, and the time has come to stand for all we believe in, so I for one am going to give my praise to YOU!
Once again I thank everyone for their support and affirmation as we all enter spiritual warfare. Hey, Christians need encouragement too :)
Once again I thank everyone for their support and affirmation as we all enter spiritual warfare. Hey, Christians need encouragement too :)
21 Days of Prayer
Thinking through, What to do
You're searching every angle
and point of view
Good advice, well rehearsed
Only seems to make matters worse...
When you're at a dead end
Where can you go?
My friend
There's an answer I know
Pray, when the road is steep
Pray, when your hope gets weak
Know the Father hears through
The silence and the tears,
Pray, when you don't know how
Pray, heaven's waiting now
And Jesus is just a breath away...
Pray, for the strength you're needing
To go on believing
No matter what you face,
You have the wisdom and the grace, to
Pray, when the road is steep
Pray, when your hope gets weak
Know the Father hears through
The silence and the tears,
you...
Pray, when you don't know how
Pray, heaven's waiting now
And Jesus is just a breath away...
Pray.
Call to me, and I will answer you, and show you great and unsearchable things you do not know. Jeremiah 33:3
The 21 DOP is a 3 week prayer campaign in which we call unto the Lord and let Him lead the way. To be honest, I didn't really survive after the 1st week. Really a disappointment to myself, as i thought i could make it for at least 2 weeks. I want to pray, but somehow time is an issue, when there is no warning when someone interrupts my chain of thoughts. I better start praying. Jesus is just a breath away.
Short posts
28 Feb, wow... It really looks like this blog is really dead. Holidays have been quite busy for me, esp serving in the prayer meeting last night playing from 8.15 to about 10 nonstop. But it was a really great experience in my ministry life. Loved it :)
During the past weeks I also have been taking part in the Nationals inter schools tennis tournament, and I'm really glad that God has brought us through to the semifinals, the first time in about 10 years! Now I'm just saying what's on my mind currently, and i think well, not every post needs to be a long, boring (i hope not!) preaching and analysis of things happening in life, from the perspective of my opinion. So yea, i think something like this, a short 2 paragraph post can also convey my personal deep feelings without making an effort to lump it together with a lot more other things to make it a super long 1000 word essay.
So yea, to make more regular posts and not to miss out the opportunity on saying something really important before forgetting it, not all posts now will be extremely wordy, unlike before.
During the past weeks I also have been taking part in the Nationals inter schools tennis tournament, and I'm really glad that God has brought us through to the semifinals, the first time in about 10 years! Now I'm just saying what's on my mind currently, and i think well, not every post needs to be a long, boring (i hope not!) preaching and analysis of things happening in life, from the perspective of my opinion. So yea, i think something like this, a short 2 paragraph post can also convey my personal deep feelings without making an effort to lump it together with a lot more other things to make it a super long 1000 word essay.
So yea, to make more regular posts and not to miss out the opportunity on saying something really important before forgetting it, not all posts now will be extremely wordy, unlike before.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
The Test of Faith
Faith can be, and is usually tested. God tests your faith to prove if it is genuine or not.
First I would like to start off with a story.
There was once a very brave and good acrobat called Charles Blondin. He was so good that he can walk on a tightrope across the Niagara Falls without any safety net. One day he announced that he was going to do it again- pushing a wheelbarrow full of heavy cement. To cut a long story short, he succeeded. As he was emptying the wheelbarrow he asked a reporter, "Do you believe that I can push the wheelbarrow with cement across the tightrope and get safely to the other side?" The reporter replied, "Yes." "Now, do you believe that I can push the wheelbarrow with a man inside and get both of us safely across?" Blondin asked. The reporter replied again, "Yes. i believe that." Blondin then said, "Good, get inside the wheelbarrow and I'll push you across." The reporter disappeared into the crowd. He asked many more people, and they too, walked away. Finally, there was one person that agreed to get onto the wheelbarrow. This time many people began betting. halfway across the tightrope, someone partially cut the rope to increase the chance of both of them falling to their deaths and making it look like an accident. With the decreased stability of the rope, it started rocking in the wind, and Blondin had to try very hard to keep his balance. Blondin told the man, "Get out of the wheelbarrow, your arms go around my shoulders and your legs go around my feet. Do it or die!!" The man followed, and the wheelbarrow plummeted into the depths below. Blondin had to use all his years of experience to get to the other side safely, and he did.
It is very easy to say "Jesus I believe in You." but it is hard to put your life on the line and trust that He will bring you over. This is where the test of faith comes in. People who do not put their faith into action don't have genuine faith. God will test your faith to prove if it's genuine or not. This message was spoken by Pastor David Davies from Israel. When he and his wife were called to Jerusalem, God tested their faith. Iraq bombed that place with 1 shell every 3 seconds. They stayed and set up a drug rehab centre.
The example that Pastor David drew from this is Elisha. The story goes that Elijah stayed in a cave and God called Elijah up, gave him Elisha's address and called him to go there. Now before Elijah was taken up to heaven Elisha requested him to give a double portion of his faith. Elijah promised that only if Elisha saw him get taken up into heaven. So they arrived at the Jordan River with about 10 other young people behind them. They must have been thinking, "I believe that he has great faith, but I'm not going to follow him.". Only Elisha went with Elijah and to make a long story short Elijah got taken up into heaven and when he was going he threw out his cloak, and Elisha picked it up (also receiving his annointing). I'm running out of time so here's the thing: None of the +-10 people that were there got Elijah's annointing because GOD CANNOT TOLERATE LUKEWARMNESS. It's either you are on fire for Him or not. If you claim to be a Christian then exercise your faith and behave like one.
Exercise your faith, genuinely. It's good for us. At times I also have to work on this, so yea, let's exercise our genuine faith together, as a Body.
First I would like to start off with a story.
There was once a very brave and good acrobat called Charles Blondin. He was so good that he can walk on a tightrope across the Niagara Falls without any safety net. One day he announced that he was going to do it again- pushing a wheelbarrow full of heavy cement. To cut a long story short, he succeeded. As he was emptying the wheelbarrow he asked a reporter, "Do you believe that I can push the wheelbarrow with cement across the tightrope and get safely to the other side?" The reporter replied, "Yes." "Now, do you believe that I can push the wheelbarrow with a man inside and get both of us safely across?" Blondin asked. The reporter replied again, "Yes. i believe that." Blondin then said, "Good, get inside the wheelbarrow and I'll push you across." The reporter disappeared into the crowd. He asked many more people, and they too, walked away. Finally, there was one person that agreed to get onto the wheelbarrow. This time many people began betting. halfway across the tightrope, someone partially cut the rope to increase the chance of both of them falling to their deaths and making it look like an accident. With the decreased stability of the rope, it started rocking in the wind, and Blondin had to try very hard to keep his balance. Blondin told the man, "Get out of the wheelbarrow, your arms go around my shoulders and your legs go around my feet. Do it or die!!" The man followed, and the wheelbarrow plummeted into the depths below. Blondin had to use all his years of experience to get to the other side safely, and he did.
It is very easy to say "Jesus I believe in You." but it is hard to put your life on the line and trust that He will bring you over. This is where the test of faith comes in. People who do not put their faith into action don't have genuine faith. God will test your faith to prove if it's genuine or not. This message was spoken by Pastor David Davies from Israel. When he and his wife were called to Jerusalem, God tested their faith. Iraq bombed that place with 1 shell every 3 seconds. They stayed and set up a drug rehab centre.
The example that Pastor David drew from this is Elisha. The story goes that Elijah stayed in a cave and God called Elijah up, gave him Elisha's address and called him to go there. Now before Elijah was taken up to heaven Elisha requested him to give a double portion of his faith. Elijah promised that only if Elisha saw him get taken up into heaven. So they arrived at the Jordan River with about 10 other young people behind them. They must have been thinking, "I believe that he has great faith, but I'm not going to follow him.". Only Elisha went with Elijah and to make a long story short Elijah got taken up into heaven and when he was going he threw out his cloak, and Elisha picked it up (also receiving his annointing). I'm running out of time so here's the thing: None of the +-10 people that were there got Elijah's annointing because GOD CANNOT TOLERATE LUKEWARMNESS. It's either you are on fire for Him or not. If you claim to be a Christian then exercise your faith and behave like one.
Exercise your faith, genuinely. It's good for us. At times I also have to work on this, so yea, let's exercise our genuine faith together, as a Body.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
100%, or is there more?
Hello, it's just in the middle of the exam, and talking about exams, i'm sure all of us wants to get 100% in our studies and academics and stuff. But think about it: What makes 100% in our lives? Are we confined to just 100%? Can we go further?
Okay, let's do some math here, let's use the system that a=1, b=2, c=3 and so on. I'm sure all of you have seen this trick thingy before, so i'll just skip it to the last part.
Attitude= 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5= 100%
Right, we have the 100% part. That's attitude. Now let's explore. 100%. Seems a bit small, like just 1- that's what it means. 100%= 100*(1/100)=1. 1's just confinary. We're confined to this attitude that attitude makes the difference. What if we knew we are free? We are free to go further than 100%. There is more than just 100%. Now our question is: What constitutes more than 100%? Check this out.
Love of God=12+15+22+5+15+6+7+15+4=101%
101%. Put them both together and there is 201%.
Attitude's just not enough. That's what I'm trying to say here. By doing this we have more than doubled this line. It's just like faith and works. No one can do without the other. To obtain 201% we need the right attitude to spread God's love to other people here. But in order to obtain the remaining 101%, we need to accept Jesus into our lives. That way we can truly have the love of God. We are created to serve Him and Him only. Here's another point that I need to point out. If you've seen my blog post a few weeks back about Corneerstone's pastor's testimony, it's essential to have the right attitude as a Christian. We're not supposed to become a Christian because of what we are given when we do that; that's prostitution. We are supposed to be God's lovers, to have a genuine relationship with Him.
If you've made that decision today, please feel free to leave a tag on the tagboard :)
Okay, let's do some math here, let's use the system that a=1, b=2, c=3 and so on. I'm sure all of you have seen this trick thingy before, so i'll just skip it to the last part.
Attitude= 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5= 100%
Right, we have the 100% part. That's attitude. Now let's explore. 100%. Seems a bit small, like just 1- that's what it means. 100%= 100*(1/100)=1. 1's just confinary. We're confined to this attitude that attitude makes the difference. What if we knew we are free? We are free to go further than 100%. There is more than just 100%. Now our question is: What constitutes more than 100%? Check this out.
Love of God=12+15+22+5+15+6+7+15+4=101%
101%. Put them both together and there is 201%.
Attitude's just not enough. That's what I'm trying to say here. By doing this we have more than doubled this line. It's just like faith and works. No one can do without the other. To obtain 201% we need the right attitude to spread God's love to other people here. But in order to obtain the remaining 101%, we need to accept Jesus into our lives. That way we can truly have the love of God. We are created to serve Him and Him only. Here's another point that I need to point out. If you've seen my blog post a few weeks back about Corneerstone's pastor's testimony, it's essential to have the right attitude as a Christian. We're not supposed to become a Christian because of what we are given when we do that; that's prostitution. We are supposed to be God's lovers, to have a genuine relationship with Him.
If you've made that decision today, please feel free to leave a tag on the tagboard :)
Friday, February 19, 2010
An apology, or two.
Hello everyone, just want to address a few issues
First of all I would like to apologize to the people that are involved in this incident, particularly my opw group. During opw today I have let my emotions take over my actions and did like, many things that I wouldnt imagine I will do. Because of this a certain number of people are affected and, well yea, I might have done some irrepairable damage.
Secondly I want to apologize to God because of this, and also that I havent been doing all the right things right and therefore drifted away from Him, which may probably also explain my behaviour today. Perhaps doing QT in school is not a very good idea after all since I dont have enough time to fully digest the meaning of the Bible passage and also listening from Him. There are many distractions here so maybe that also be a hinderance to a more fruitful QT.
Gosh, I feel terrible. It's about time for me to buck up and start acting like a christian all over again. I will buck up. I promise that this type of thing would never happen again.
First of all I would like to apologize to the people that are involved in this incident, particularly my opw group. During opw today I have let my emotions take over my actions and did like, many things that I wouldnt imagine I will do. Because of this a certain number of people are affected and, well yea, I might have done some irrepairable damage.
Secondly I want to apologize to God because of this, and also that I havent been doing all the right things right and therefore drifted away from Him, which may probably also explain my behaviour today. Perhaps doing QT in school is not a very good idea after all since I dont have enough time to fully digest the meaning of the Bible passage and also listening from Him. There are many distractions here so maybe that also be a hinderance to a more fruitful QT.
Gosh, I feel terrible. It's about time for me to buck up and start acting like a christian all over again. I will buck up. I promise that this type of thing would never happen again.
Monday, February 8, 2010
Sermon 6/2/10 Faith and Works
To start off, I'll define the meaning of the word atrophy.
Atrophy (noun)
1. Wasting away of the partial or complete part of the body
2. A degeneration or decline as from disuse
3. A decrease in size, deterioration or shrinking.
No exercise (spiritual or physical) will lead to atrophy of the respective element.
Now there are people that say that the Bible contradicts itself when talking about faith and works, particularly Paul and James. Now let's look at the truth behind all this.
Extracts by Paul:
Ephesians 2:8-9
For it is by grace you have been saved through faith - and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God - not by works, so that no one can boast.
Titus 3:5
He saved us, not because of the righteous things we have done, but because of His mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal of the Holy Spirit.
2 Timothy 1:9
... who has saved us and called us to a holy life - not because of anything we have done but because of His own purpose and grace. This grace was given to us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time.
Romans 4:5
However, to the man who does not work but trusts God to justify the wicked, his faith is credited as righteousness.
Extract by James:
James 2:14-26
What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him? Suppose a brother or sister without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to him, "Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if not accompanied by action, is dead.
But someone will say, "You have faith; I have deeds."
Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you what my faith can do.
You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that - and shudder.
You foolish man, do you want evidence that faith without deeds is useless? Was not our ancestor Abraham considered righteous for what he did when he offered his son Isaac on the altar? You see that his faith and actions is working together, and his faith was made complete by what he did. And the scripture was fulfilled that says, "Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness," and he was called God's friend. You soo that a person is justified by what he does and not by faith alone.
They seem to be contradicting, but there are some differences.
What Paul is talking about:
Challenging Legalism.
Jewish laws and ceremonies
Ground of faith
How to know that you're a Christian
How to become a believer
What James is talking about:
Challenging Laxity (laziness)
Christian lifestyle
Fruit of faith
How to show that you're a Christian
How to behave like a believer
Here James is talking about genuine faith. Genuine faith needs works. Faith is the key, but prayer unlocks the door. If you stand outside your door with the key hoping that somehow that key will go into the lock and turn itself you're not going to get anywhere. Similarly faith without works is nothing much.
So, how do I know if I have genuine faith?
Genuine faith is not just about what you...
Say - What good is it, my brothers, when someone claims he has faith...
It's just more than saying. Someone can just say for the sake of saying, or it may be the truth. No one knows. If you claim you're a Christian I have the right to question it based on your lifestyle.
Feel - "... and one of you says to them, 'Go in peace, be warmed and fulfilled'" (NKJV)
Reaching out to others is a symbol of genuine faith. It's more than what you feel for the opposite party. You have to put it into action.
Think - "You have faith and I have works; show me your faith without the works." (NKJV)
If you're a Christian people should be able to see it by your works that express your faith. People are tired of faith without works.
Believe - "You believe that God is one. You do well; the demons also believe..." (NKJV)
A worldwide survey shows that most of the Christians are BAD, meaning that there is no difference in lifestyle bdetween them and the people of the world. People of the world. People in the Kingdom of God. There is, actually, not much difference in most of their lifestyles. The question of the survey is 'What is your impression of a Christian'. Most people answered negatively. There was one who answered, "I haven't met one yet. Christians are supposed to be loving. I haven't met anyone like that." Gandhi said, "I like your Christ, but I don't like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ." The Church, unfortunately is full of people who don't love God. This is reflected on what they do, their actions. We all were made to be lovers, but those who don't love God make it into a business, and when a Body becomes business, that's called prostitution.
However, genuine faith is demonstrated by what you do. Faith and works go together. James is trying to say "Your faith MUST speak through your works!" This means that faith and works cannot be separated. Faith MUST go together with works. Either of that missing and it's not genuine faith anymore. Because of faith working together with works, faith will lead to obedience. When God told Abraham to sacrifice his son Isaac on the altar he willingly did it. And here's a common misconception. Faith is not a temporary feeling. Like your spirit and how it can mature your faith can grow. In other words no faith will lead to spiritual atrophy.
Christians all around the world have very little faith. Very little. If a communist can declare communism as his wife, food, clothes, religion, philosophy and so on, and is willing to be executed because of his communism, why can't we, as believers of Christ, do that? I mean, people are willing to do such things for their faith. Why can't we? If you're a non-Christian now I ask you: What is your impression of Christians? If the answer is more or less negative then that is the condition of Christians today! We have negative reviews, negative criticism. Why? Because our actions do not speak our faith. There are many non-christians out there that live like Christians. Why can't we live like Christ? It's because we have very little genuine faith.
Does your faith speak through your actions?
Atrophy (noun)
1. Wasting away of the partial or complete part of the body
2. A degeneration or decline as from disuse
3. A decrease in size, deterioration or shrinking.
No exercise (spiritual or physical) will lead to atrophy of the respective element.
Now there are people that say that the Bible contradicts itself when talking about faith and works, particularly Paul and James. Now let's look at the truth behind all this.
Extracts by Paul:
Ephesians 2:8-9
For it is by grace you have been saved through faith - and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God - not by works, so that no one can boast.
Titus 3:5
He saved us, not because of the righteous things we have done, but because of His mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal of the Holy Spirit.
2 Timothy 1:9
... who has saved us and called us to a holy life - not because of anything we have done but because of His own purpose and grace. This grace was given to us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time.
Romans 4:5
However, to the man who does not work but trusts God to justify the wicked, his faith is credited as righteousness.
Extract by James:
James 2:14-26
What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him? Suppose a brother or sister without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to him, "Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if not accompanied by action, is dead.
But someone will say, "You have faith; I have deeds."
Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you what my faith can do.
You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that - and shudder.
You foolish man, do you want evidence that faith without deeds is useless? Was not our ancestor Abraham considered righteous for what he did when he offered his son Isaac on the altar? You see that his faith and actions is working together, and his faith was made complete by what he did. And the scripture was fulfilled that says, "Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness," and he was called God's friend. You soo that a person is justified by what he does and not by faith alone.
They seem to be contradicting, but there are some differences.
What Paul is talking about:
Challenging Legalism.
Jewish laws and ceremonies
Ground of faith
How to know that you're a Christian
How to become a believer
What James is talking about:
Challenging Laxity (laziness)
Christian lifestyle
Fruit of faith
How to show that you're a Christian
How to behave like a believer
Here James is talking about genuine faith. Genuine faith needs works. Faith is the key, but prayer unlocks the door. If you stand outside your door with the key hoping that somehow that key will go into the lock and turn itself you're not going to get anywhere. Similarly faith without works is nothing much.
So, how do I know if I have genuine faith?
Genuine faith is not just about what you...
Say - What good is it, my brothers, when someone claims he has faith...
It's just more than saying. Someone can just say for the sake of saying, or it may be the truth. No one knows. If you claim you're a Christian I have the right to question it based on your lifestyle.
Feel - "... and one of you says to them, 'Go in peace, be warmed and fulfilled'" (NKJV)
Reaching out to others is a symbol of genuine faith. It's more than what you feel for the opposite party. You have to put it into action.
Think - "You have faith and I have works; show me your faith without the works." (NKJV)
If you're a Christian people should be able to see it by your works that express your faith. People are tired of faith without works.
Believe - "You believe that God is one. You do well; the demons also believe..." (NKJV)
A worldwide survey shows that most of the Christians are BAD, meaning that there is no difference in lifestyle bdetween them and the people of the world. People of the world. People in the Kingdom of God. There is, actually, not much difference in most of their lifestyles. The question of the survey is 'What is your impression of a Christian'. Most people answered negatively. There was one who answered, "I haven't met one yet. Christians are supposed to be loving. I haven't met anyone like that." Gandhi said, "I like your Christ, but I don't like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ." The Church, unfortunately is full of people who don't love God. This is reflected on what they do, their actions. We all were made to be lovers, but those who don't love God make it into a business, and when a Body becomes business, that's called prostitution.
However, genuine faith is demonstrated by what you do. Faith and works go together. James is trying to say "Your faith MUST speak through your works!" This means that faith and works cannot be separated. Faith MUST go together with works. Either of that missing and it's not genuine faith anymore. Because of faith working together with works, faith will lead to obedience. When God told Abraham to sacrifice his son Isaac on the altar he willingly did it. And here's a common misconception. Faith is not a temporary feeling. Like your spirit and how it can mature your faith can grow. In other words no faith will lead to spiritual atrophy.
Christians all around the world have very little faith. Very little. If a communist can declare communism as his wife, food, clothes, religion, philosophy and so on, and is willing to be executed because of his communism, why can't we, as believers of Christ, do that? I mean, people are willing to do such things for their faith. Why can't we? If you're a non-Christian now I ask you: What is your impression of Christians? If the answer is more or less negative then that is the condition of Christians today! We have negative reviews, negative criticism. Why? Because our actions do not speak our faith. There are many non-christians out there that live like Christians. Why can't we live like Christ? It's because we have very little genuine faith.
Does your faith speak through your actions?
Friday, February 5, 2010
What it is made up of.
Hey Caleb, you really will make a great pastor! You can deliver such great speeches!
You really should become an inspirational speaker like Nick Vujicic or Dave Pelzer! Many many many people will get moved by your speeches and skill.
What skill?
People close to me say I'm generally a very good speaker. But am I? Answer to self: No. I am not a good speaker. One of the probable reasons is because of the 'speech' that I gave to my class a few weeks ago and a bit of the ability to share sermons with friends in my own words. But even though I am that good, it's just not me. People say I make a good pastor, it's just not me; people say I make a good inspirational speaker, it's just not me. Really. It's not.
But how come you can deliver such great speeches that can earn great respect? If it's not you, then who is it? It cant possibly be anyone else right?
What my 'speeches' are made up of are not just my knowledge or wisdom or anything. It's not. It's made up of the Holy Spirit speaking through me to the audience. You see, during camp last year I received a 'mission' from God: Rise up and become a leader. Having this post as a monitor now I feel that God is trying to tell me to spread His love around to those people that need it. I feel that influencing other people around me and spreading God's love like a contagious disease is the basic things that I need to do as a monitor or even as a normal student as well. The challenge will come when the class cell that we have been praying quite a bit about starts.
That, is what it is made up of. It's not a confession though, it's glorifying God.
You really should become an inspirational speaker like Nick Vujicic or Dave Pelzer! Many many many people will get moved by your speeches and skill.
What skill?
People close to me say I'm generally a very good speaker. But am I? Answer to self: No. I am not a good speaker. One of the probable reasons is because of the 'speech' that I gave to my class a few weeks ago and a bit of the ability to share sermons with friends in my own words. But even though I am that good, it's just not me. People say I make a good pastor, it's just not me; people say I make a good inspirational speaker, it's just not me. Really. It's not.
But how come you can deliver such great speeches that can earn great respect? If it's not you, then who is it? It cant possibly be anyone else right?
What my 'speeches' are made up of are not just my knowledge or wisdom or anything. It's not. It's made up of the Holy Spirit speaking through me to the audience. You see, during camp last year I received a 'mission' from God: Rise up and become a leader. Having this post as a monitor now I feel that God is trying to tell me to spread His love around to those people that need it. I feel that influencing other people around me and spreading God's love like a contagious disease is the basic things that I need to do as a monitor or even as a normal student as well. The challenge will come when the class cell that we have been praying quite a bit about starts.
That, is what it is made up of. It's not a confession though, it's glorifying God.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
What should I do?
Note that I am not talking about a specific group of people, but rather all audiences.
At the top, there's only one way to go -- down.
Many times I think to myself: It's only a piece of cake to reach out to other people, and although the feeling of getting outcasted because of that is bad, but it's not that bad.
This is a totally different story altogether. Please note that I have intentionally censored the names of everyone involved in this incident.
Now there's this person in my class that I've brought to church a few months back, let's call him A. But after coming to church I feel that his personality was going down the drain. Never mind about that, because now he is turning into a better person. Again it is not always that yi fan feng shun, as I think there is now an outcasting atmosphere around, and someone also said, "It's because to him, you're the only guy that actually still cares about him."
It's because to him, you're the only guy that actually still cares.
How devestating that is! I'm not dealing with a friend only, I'm dealing with an outcast. There also are some people that I feel want me to give up on A and outcast him too, let's just call them the rest of the alphabet (B to Z, although there arent that many people but i dont want to give the number of people). Somehow I find that I resemble Jake, I'm trying to help outcasts but in the end I'm going to get outcasted myself too. People say that I'm too soft hearted, saying that I give too much grace and letting this become very vulnerable to getting taken advantage of. Based on this I think somehow or another getting outcasted is now inevitable. I know, I have been chosen first for some project grouping, and I have moved to A's group and therefore becoming a 'traitor'. That is my fault. But think about it, if someone can say "It's because to him, you're the only guy that still cares", and if i don't care about him, no one else ever will.
"Whatever he is now, he deserves it. We have given him enough grace. You need to teach him a lesson and not give in to his stupid demands."
Grace - that's giving to someone who doesnt deserve it. We all deserve to die in hell even for the slightest wrong we do, like telling very little white lie. You, me, everyone. No one is perfect. But it is by the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, we have been saved, through faith. In other words there's never enough grace given or to be given. Imagine there's this man that owes his boss millions of dollars, and he begged his boss to give him some time to repay the debt, and the boss, taking pity on the man, cancelled the debt. Now this man was also the boss of another guy who owed him only ten dollars, and that guy also begged him to give him some time and he will be able to repay the debt. But the man took him to court and sued him and ordered everything of his to be sold because he could not repay the debt at that time. News spread to the boss, and the boss called the man up to his office and said "I cancelled your debt because you begged me to, shouldnt you give grace to your employee just as I had given to you?" In his anger the boss ordered everything the man had to be sold until he could be able to repay the debt. Think about it. Shouldn't we give grace beyond all boundaries because Jesus has done that for us too?
That, is just from my point of view. It just doesn't have to be like this over some small matter.
What do I do, where do I go from here?
At the top, there's only one way to go -- down.
Many times I think to myself: It's only a piece of cake to reach out to other people, and although the feeling of getting outcasted because of that is bad, but it's not that bad.
This is a totally different story altogether. Please note that I have intentionally censored the names of everyone involved in this incident.
Now there's this person in my class that I've brought to church a few months back, let's call him A. But after coming to church I feel that his personality was going down the drain. Never mind about that, because now he is turning into a better person. Again it is not always that yi fan feng shun, as I think there is now an outcasting atmosphere around, and someone also said, "It's because to him, you're the only guy that actually still cares about him."
It's because to him, you're the only guy that actually still cares.
How devestating that is! I'm not dealing with a friend only, I'm dealing with an outcast. There also are some people that I feel want me to give up on A and outcast him too, let's just call them the rest of the alphabet (B to Z, although there arent that many people but i dont want to give the number of people). Somehow I find that I resemble Jake, I'm trying to help outcasts but in the end I'm going to get outcasted myself too. People say that I'm too soft hearted, saying that I give too much grace and letting this become very vulnerable to getting taken advantage of. Based on this I think somehow or another getting outcasted is now inevitable. I know, I have been chosen first for some project grouping, and I have moved to A's group and therefore becoming a 'traitor'. That is my fault. But think about it, if someone can say "It's because to him, you're the only guy that still cares", and if i don't care about him, no one else ever will.
"Whatever he is now, he deserves it. We have given him enough grace. You need to teach him a lesson and not give in to his stupid demands."
Grace - that's giving to someone who doesnt deserve it. We all deserve to die in hell even for the slightest wrong we do, like telling very little white lie. You, me, everyone. No one is perfect. But it is by the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, we have been saved, through faith. In other words there's never enough grace given or to be given. Imagine there's this man that owes his boss millions of dollars, and he begged his boss to give him some time to repay the debt, and the boss, taking pity on the man, cancelled the debt. Now this man was also the boss of another guy who owed him only ten dollars, and that guy also begged him to give him some time and he will be able to repay the debt. But the man took him to court and sued him and ordered everything of his to be sold because he could not repay the debt at that time. News spread to the boss, and the boss called the man up to his office and said "I cancelled your debt because you begged me to, shouldnt you give grace to your employee just as I had given to you?" In his anger the boss ordered everything the man had to be sold until he could be able to repay the debt. Think about it. Shouldn't we give grace beyond all boundaries because Jesus has done that for us too?
That, is just from my point of view. It just doesn't have to be like this over some small matter.
What do I do, where do I go from here?
Friday, January 29, 2010
My week
This week has passed by unreasonably fast. It just feels like a second since it's Monday and now's Friday night. On Tuesday was the Sec 1 RSP orientation, and frankly speaking I think my group was the most unprepared for the music presentation. Besides that I found out that my classroom key and my class pass had mysteriously disappeared into thin air. At home I was panicking to find the items and at that time I just felt that my whole life had collapsed on top of me. Just like that, when I was starting to feel that I was beginning to do a good job being the class monitor. The two most important class documents went missing, all in one day, literally.
Yesterday's homework was comparable to Mount Everest. Math, Chinese, Home Economics and the printed version of the assignment blog post all by the next day. I slept at 1am. :(
Today VS played a friendly tennis match against TKGS , to be specific it was the VS U-14 against TKGS U-16, meaning that VS's junior division playing against TKGS senior division. And we won! Actually i couldnt believe that i was selected to play, and I won my doubles match with Ejaz (sp). A few other VS people also won their matches too.
Time to go and do my opw stuff...
caleby
Then it hit me.
Ask and it will be given to you; Seek and you will find; Knock on the door and it will be opened to you.
I have actually forgotten about this Bible verse for a really long time, and I was starting to take my problems into my own hands. This week I felt spiritually dry, as I didn't really get a lot of chances to do QT in school just before morning assembly. I started to pray. And pray. And pray. And pray. And pray. The words just seemed to float in my mind: God, please help me find my class key and pass. The words never stopped playing in my head, for the whole time, until I went to sleep.
Faith, that was all I needed.
The next day upon reaching school I knew I would get scolded by Mr Li and probably other teachers as well. I actually thought I was going to get into trouble. Big trouble. However it seemed that God answered my prayers in this very morning. It turned out that I had forgotten that I lent the key to Hudson for the Secondary 1 RSP orientation 'treasure hunt'. The pass appeared in the sense that Marcus revealed to me that he had put it into Wayne's pencil case just the day before after using it. Through this I really grew stronger in my faith.
Today VS played a friendly tennis match against TKGS , to be specific it was the VS U-14 against TKGS U-16, meaning that VS's junior division playing against TKGS senior division. And we won! Actually i couldnt believe that i was selected to play, and I won my doubles match with Ejaz (sp). A few other VS people also won their matches too.
Time to go and do my opw stuff...
caleby
Friday, January 22, 2010
Are you prepared?
Hello. Since i'm on this page now might as well share some stuff. It's really been a very discouraging/disappointing week due to some personal reasons.
About 15 mins ago I was scrolling through facebook and came across this new movie called To save a life. I find it a really meaningful message from the creators of "Facing the Giants" and "Fireproof". It's a really inspirational message about how we spread God's love to the people around, especially the "lower caste" in our school community. Here's a little on the plot summary.
Jake has everything in high school. Friends, fame, basketball, and even the girl of his dreams. His friend, Roger has nothing. They used to be best friends but the social circle of high school separated both of them. One day Roger kills himself, and Jake regrets because of his death. He makes the decision to reach out to other outcasts in school to make up for what he did not do. However he has to choose between two parties, his friends, or the people he wants to reach out to.
"At some point, you've got to ask yourself, what you want your life to be about."
Surely the time will come when you have to ask yourself, "What do I want my life to be about?" I've asked myself this question many times, and many times I come up with many different answers. Now asking myself this question again I know what I want my life to be about. It's about our reflection of God's image and His love. If we do not spread God's love and reach out to those that really need it, no one will.
How far would you go, how much would you risk, how hard would you fight, to save a life?
Guys, let's think about it for a sec. It's a really tough business reaching out to the outcasts. Most of the time we have to choose between two parties, friends, or people who need God's love desperately. I'm ready to make that sacrifice to spread God's love to other people, no matter what the world thinks of me. I am prepared.
Are you?
About 15 mins ago I was scrolling through facebook and came across this new movie called To save a life. I find it a really meaningful message from the creators of "Facing the Giants" and "Fireproof". It's a really inspirational message about how we spread God's love to the people around, especially the "lower caste" in our school community. Here's a little on the plot summary.
Jake has everything in high school. Friends, fame, basketball, and even the girl of his dreams. His friend, Roger has nothing. They used to be best friends but the social circle of high school separated both of them. One day Roger kills himself, and Jake regrets because of his death. He makes the decision to reach out to other outcasts in school to make up for what he did not do. However he has to choose between two parties, his friends, or the people he wants to reach out to.
"At some point, you've got to ask yourself, what you want your life to be about."
Surely the time will come when you have to ask yourself, "What do I want my life to be about?" I've asked myself this question many times, and many times I come up with many different answers. Now asking myself this question again I know what I want my life to be about. It's about our reflection of God's image and His love. If we do not spread God's love and reach out to those that really need it, no one will.
How far would you go, how much would you risk, how hard would you fight, to save a life?
Guys, let's think about it for a sec. It's a really tough business reaching out to the outcasts. Most of the time we have to choose between two parties, friends, or people who need God's love desperately. I'm ready to make that sacrifice to spread God's love to other people, no matter what the world thinks of me. I am prepared.
Are you?
Monday, January 18, 2010
A Point.
"What's the point of having a leader when no one submits to authority?"
It's really a great discouragement. A very big one indeed. I don't have a lot of time to write this so this post will be significantly shorter than usual.
It's like God wants me to be a leader but this kind of things happen. No one submits to authority. Here's an extract of what happened today in class, copied over from my assignment blog (which takes up 50% of English CA1 marks)
It was just a normal Monday, with Character Education lessons primarily. Now this Character Education lessons played a very very huge role in what happened today. Before the lessons the CMC (Class Management Commitee) wanted to address the class about admin matters. Being the monitor I was made the first line of outgoing communication. However almost no one wanted to pay attention and were doing their own things, with only about 3 people responding. It's really discouraging. I asked myself this question: What's the entire point of having a leader when no one submits to authority? My answer is that there is no point. Might as well give up my position to someone that can probably do my job better than me and also get the class to submit to. I was alone then, reflecting on what I had been doing for the past 2 weeks as a monitor. Reflection. It's something that I like doing, knowing how I can improve myself through past mistakes. But that's besides the point. Soon after the teachers screened a video of Nick Vujicic. Nick Vujicic. I remember the time he came to my church a few years ago. He's a really great speaker. I haven't really heard of him much till today. God really spoke to me through that video of his. When they screened the video (I don't know if you've felt it) I felt the presence of God fill this room, and if you were observing me well you might have seen that I started to tear up. Yes, you're right. I'm not ashamed to say this. I nearly cried. I was just at about breaking point. I really got touched by God and I dare say that this is my second divine encounter with Him (For my first you can always go to my other blog, calebyds.blogspot.com to find out more.). It's just like God is telling me, "Nick has no arms nor legs, just a 'chicken wing', and I have helped him overcome this huge barrier of living a normal person's life. What great things I can do with you to help you overcome this very minute barrier!"
Jesus, take my life, use me for the expansion of your Kingdom. Use me to be living testimony unto the World today. Lord, I surrender everything I am to You. Take my life. It's all for You.
It's really a great discouragement. A very big one indeed. I don't have a lot of time to write this so this post will be significantly shorter than usual.
It's like God wants me to be a leader but this kind of things happen. No one submits to authority. Here's an extract of what happened today in class, copied over from my assignment blog (which takes up 50% of English CA1 marks)
It was just a normal Monday, with Character Education lessons primarily. Now this Character Education lessons played a very very huge role in what happened today. Before the lessons the CMC (Class Management Commitee) wanted to address the class about admin matters. Being the monitor I was made the first line of outgoing communication. However almost no one wanted to pay attention and were doing their own things, with only about 3 people responding. It's really discouraging. I asked myself this question: What's the entire point of having a leader when no one submits to authority? My answer is that there is no point. Might as well give up my position to someone that can probably do my job better than me and also get the class to submit to. I was alone then, reflecting on what I had been doing for the past 2 weeks as a monitor. Reflection. It's something that I like doing, knowing how I can improve myself through past mistakes. But that's besides the point. Soon after the teachers screened a video of Nick Vujicic. Nick Vujicic. I remember the time he came to my church a few years ago. He's a really great speaker. I haven't really heard of him much till today. God really spoke to me through that video of his. When they screened the video (I don't know if you've felt it) I felt the presence of God fill this room, and if you were observing me well you might have seen that I started to tear up. Yes, you're right. I'm not ashamed to say this. I nearly cried. I was just at about breaking point. I really got touched by God and I dare say that this is my second divine encounter with Him (For my first you can always go to my other blog, calebyds.blogspot.com to find out more.). It's just like God is telling me, "Nick has no arms nor legs, just a 'chicken wing', and I have helped him overcome this huge barrier of living a normal person's life. What great things I can do with you to help you overcome this very minute barrier!"
Jesus, take my life, use me for the expansion of your Kingdom. Use me to be living testimony unto the World today. Lord, I surrender everything I am to You. Take my life. It's all for You.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Something special
2nd post of 2010 :) it's really a stressful year alr. On saturday i shared my testimony about camp during service. Now i have random church people coming up to me saying "hi, nice testimony :)" but that's besides the point anyway... TOday got detention by chinese teacher over something really really amusing and stupid -.-
A thing that i've learnt during this 1st 2 weeks of the year is something really significant, learning more about how God works in people's lives. Here's a little example, cos i cant really say it out without having no chance of miscommunication.
In December was the ELEVATE camp, which i apparently forgot to write my reflections on :S. From then onwards i had that desire to reach out to the pre-believers around me, cos as i have said many times, they need us more than we need them. At around the same period of time, Matthias was also spoken to by God during an evangelistical course. He asked God, " God, if this is your will, give me a sign to say that yes, it is your will" That sign referred to someone asking him if he wants to start evangelism (i assume that person does not refer to anyone from the same course). When i reached home from camp i wanted to ask around who would be willing to evangelise with me, and God told me Matthias. It's a really amazing way how we have come this close since this year only, and how God played that really vital role to bring us together, both by having someone to work with for me and confirming Matthias's calling.
Now we are trying to work out a class cell and the admin of it, hoping that many prebelievers will receive salvation and also that cell members can have a good relationship with God, and have a genuine encounter with Him.
Caleby
A thing that i've learnt during this 1st 2 weeks of the year is something really significant, learning more about how God works in people's lives. Here's a little example, cos i cant really say it out without having no chance of miscommunication.
In December was the ELEVATE camp, which i apparently forgot to write my reflections on :S. From then onwards i had that desire to reach out to the pre-believers around me, cos as i have said many times, they need us more than we need them. At around the same period of time, Matthias was also spoken to by God during an evangelistical course. He asked God, " God, if this is your will, give me a sign to say that yes, it is your will" That sign referred to someone asking him if he wants to start evangelism (i assume that person does not refer to anyone from the same course). When i reached home from camp i wanted to ask around who would be willing to evangelise with me, and God told me Matthias. It's a really amazing way how we have come this close since this year only, and how God played that really vital role to bring us together, both by having someone to work with for me and confirming Matthias's calling.
Now we are trying to work out a class cell and the admin of it, hoping that many prebelievers will receive salvation and also that cell members can have a good relationship with God, and have a genuine encounter with Him.
Caleby
Friday, January 8, 2010
Reflect 2009
Hi. It's been a pretty long time i havent posted. new year's here and it's back to January again. It's about time for some reflections on how 2009 has been for me.
First off, i would like to say that like many other years, I've done things i dont regret, and also things that i will. My first resolution this year is not to get angry or concerned over small issues. In the past year by doing so i have inevitably endangered many of my friendships. that's something that i really regret doing.
Also the year 2009 has been a year of change, where i went to sec 1, got into the awesome MEGALIFE service and joined the music ministry. It's also the first time i stepped foot in a school (vs) that doesnt allow handphones to be (even) on during sch hrs. it's really been a really really great year growing both spiritually mentally and also psychologically. This year is the year that i started quality QT. By doing so i can hear God trying to speak to me more and also how he does it. Personally for me God speaks to me in a unique way. When He wants me to do a certain something (like for example stepping out of my comfort zone and reaching out to others), He gets things to happen (like being close to a person in need of friends and moral support) and prompts me to do it, usually standing up against the oppposition to do so.
Looking back at the previous posts on the Superlife Ministry blog, i cam across this post that reall spoke to me how important it is to come to church for the right reason and the right mindset. Check it out:
From Cornerstone Chuch; From the Pastor's Heart
David Ryser shared an amazing testimony which i'd like to reproduce for you. it's really something for us to ponder over. this is his story:
"A number of years ago, i had the privilege of teaching at a School of Ministry. my students were hungry for God, and i was constantly searching for ways to challenge them to fall more in love with Jesus and to become voices for revival in the Church. i came across a quote attributed most often to Rev Sam Pascoe. Its a short version of the history of Christianity, and it goes like this:
Christianity started in Palestine as a fellowship; it moved to Greece and became a philosophy; it moved to Italy and became an instituion; it moved to Europe and became a culture; it came to America and became an enterprise.
some of the students were only 18 or 19 years old and i wanted them to understand and appreciate the import of the last line, so i clarified it by adding: An enterprise. that's a business.
after a few moments, Martha, the youngest student in the class, raised her hand. i could not imagine what her question might be i thought the little explanation was self-explanatory. Martha asked a simple question, "A business? but isn't the church supposed to be a Body?"
i could not envision where this line of questioning was going, and the only response i could think of was, "Yes."
she continued, "But when a body becames a business, isn't that a prostitute?"
the room went dead silent. for several seconds no one moved or spoke. we were stunned, afraid to make a sound because the presence of God had flooded into the room, and we knew we were on holy ground. all i could think in those sacred moments was, "wow, i wish i'd thought of that." i didn't dare express that thought aloud. God had taken over the class. Martha's question changed my life.
for six months, i thought about her question at least once every day. 'when a body becomes a business, isn't that a prostitute?' there's only one answer to her question. the answer is "yes". the Church, tragically, is full of people who do not love God. how can we love Him when we dont even know Him? and i mean really know Him. the root of this condition originates in how most of us came to God. most of us came to Him because of what we were told He would do for us. we were promised that He would bless us in life and take us to heaven after death. we married Him for His money, and we dont care if He lives or dies as long as we can get His stuff. we have made the Kingdom of God into a business, merchandising His anointing. this should not be. we're commanded to love God, and we are called to be the Bride of Christ - that's pretty intimate stuff. we're supposed to be His lovers. How can we love someone we dont even know? and even if we do know someone, is that a guarantee that we truly love them? are we lovers or prostitutes? think about this."
This post really spoke to me as to the importance of having the right mindset and attitude to coming to church. But why do we come to church? Friends? Fun? Kill time? The right attitude is to come to church to encounter God and have a deeper relationship with Him. Also remember my friends, Christianity isnt a religion, it's a relationship. Just like our dads, for example. There's a close relationship point there. It's almost impossible to walk into a room and not acknowledging your dad who's inside it. Similarly it's the same with God. We have a relationship with Him, either we grow closer, or we backslide. There's no status quo, it's either up or down. We dont come to church because we like it, not for enlightenment, not for pure head knowledge. Those are all wrong mindsets and attitudes. We come to church to experience God and hear His Word, and also to have a divine encounter with Him, thus making our relationship closer. That's what it's all about. There are many Christians around who go to church for the wrong reasons, that is enterprise thus making the Church a prostitute, not a Body. Think about it. Do you go to church for the right reasons?
caleby
First off, i would like to say that like many other years, I've done things i dont regret, and also things that i will. My first resolution this year is not to get angry or concerned over small issues. In the past year by doing so i have inevitably endangered many of my friendships. that's something that i really regret doing.
Also the year 2009 has been a year of change, where i went to sec 1, got into the awesome MEGALIFE service and joined the music ministry. It's also the first time i stepped foot in a school (vs) that doesnt allow handphones to be (even) on during sch hrs. it's really been a really really great year growing both spiritually mentally and also psychologically. This year is the year that i started quality QT. By doing so i can hear God trying to speak to me more and also how he does it. Personally for me God speaks to me in a unique way. When He wants me to do a certain something (like for example stepping out of my comfort zone and reaching out to others), He gets things to happen (like being close to a person in need of friends and moral support) and prompts me to do it, usually standing up against the oppposition to do so.
Looking back at the previous posts on the Superlife Ministry blog, i cam across this post that reall spoke to me how important it is to come to church for the right reason and the right mindset. Check it out:
From Cornerstone Chuch; From the Pastor's Heart
David Ryser shared an amazing testimony which i'd like to reproduce for you. it's really something for us to ponder over. this is his story:
"A number of years ago, i had the privilege of teaching at a School of Ministry. my students were hungry for God, and i was constantly searching for ways to challenge them to fall more in love with Jesus and to become voices for revival in the Church. i came across a quote attributed most often to Rev Sam Pascoe. Its a short version of the history of Christianity, and it goes like this:
Christianity started in Palestine as a fellowship; it moved to Greece and became a philosophy; it moved to Italy and became an instituion; it moved to Europe and became a culture; it came to America and became an enterprise.
some of the students were only 18 or 19 years old and i wanted them to understand and appreciate the import of the last line, so i clarified it by adding: An enterprise. that's a business.
after a few moments, Martha, the youngest student in the class, raised her hand. i could not imagine what her question might be i thought the little explanation was self-explanatory. Martha asked a simple question, "A business? but isn't the church supposed to be a Body?"
i could not envision where this line of questioning was going, and the only response i could think of was, "Yes."
she continued, "But when a body becames a business, isn't that a prostitute?"
the room went dead silent. for several seconds no one moved or spoke. we were stunned, afraid to make a sound because the presence of God had flooded into the room, and we knew we were on holy ground. all i could think in those sacred moments was, "wow, i wish i'd thought of that." i didn't dare express that thought aloud. God had taken over the class. Martha's question changed my life.
for six months, i thought about her question at least once every day. 'when a body becomes a business, isn't that a prostitute?' there's only one answer to her question. the answer is "yes". the Church, tragically, is full of people who do not love God. how can we love Him when we dont even know Him? and i mean really know Him. the root of this condition originates in how most of us came to God. most of us came to Him because of what we were told He would do for us. we were promised that He would bless us in life and take us to heaven after death. we married Him for His money, and we dont care if He lives or dies as long as we can get His stuff. we have made the Kingdom of God into a business, merchandising His anointing. this should not be. we're commanded to love God, and we are called to be the Bride of Christ - that's pretty intimate stuff. we're supposed to be His lovers. How can we love someone we dont even know? and even if we do know someone, is that a guarantee that we truly love them? are we lovers or prostitutes? think about this."
This post really spoke to me as to the importance of having the right mindset and attitude to coming to church. But why do we come to church? Friends? Fun? Kill time? The right attitude is to come to church to encounter God and have a deeper relationship with Him. Also remember my friends, Christianity isnt a religion, it's a relationship. Just like our dads, for example. There's a close relationship point there. It's almost impossible to walk into a room and not acknowledging your dad who's inside it. Similarly it's the same with God. We have a relationship with Him, either we grow closer, or we backslide. There's no status quo, it's either up or down. We dont come to church because we like it, not for enlightenment, not for pure head knowledge. Those are all wrong mindsets and attitudes. We come to church to experience God and hear His Word, and also to have a divine encounter with Him, thus making our relationship closer. That's what it's all about. There are many Christians around who go to church for the wrong reasons, that is enterprise thus making the Church a prostitute, not a Body. Think about it. Do you go to church for the right reasons?
caleby
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